JUST CALL ME FATTY !
Having an uncontrolable gut feeling, I weighed myself last night.
Two hundred and twenty stinkin' pounds. That's a new record. 10lbs gained in 5 days. No wonder I was suspicious. It was like a freaking pink elephant stuffed down my pants!
So I just got off the phone with the gym. Actually, I just hung up on them for the 3rd time. This time I gave up. Frankly I can't afford to join and as I am having these strong feelings towards terminiating my employment with my current employer so I can stay home, I am thinking this is probably a poor finanical choice.
However, I weight 220 pounds. ( 215 this morning.)This is not healthy, damaging my self esteem and makes me want to turn the lights out when I snuggle my boyfriend. Not to mention the overwhelming insecurity that has begun to creep up on me as I hear no reassurance from him that all this additional "Emily to love" is not bothering him. I now outweigh him by 15 pounds. I will squash him. I should just throw in the towel. Except that, that would hurt, and I really would like some more junk food to calm myself down before totally giving up.
So Class is in one hour, and if I can stop screwing around on Blogger.com instead of writing my briefs, then I will give the gym another call and give everything another shot.
I need to figure out a solution for my money issues. I wish my dad could help me but i just cna't ask. I don't want to work next semester, it's a bad idea. But how will I afford to live? And if I quit now, I have no way to pay off my credit cards. Baaad idea.
I need help.
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