Why I went private and what I've been keeping from you.

Well.

I found an attorney back in March.

And she offered to help me.


And we're suing Matt.


Long pause.

The first step to that process is sending a demand letter to his home, asking him for the money first.

He had a certain number of days to respond, and if he doesn't respond, the attorney will file a lawsuit on my behalf and we go to court.

We are suing him for False Imprisonment, Battery, Violation of Civil Rights under Color of Authority, Fraud, Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress and Third Party Victim of Identity Theft.

I've had nightmares all week, and my anxiety is through the roof. I am terrified of what they will do to me when they found out what I have done. This is the right thing. If he plowed me down with a bus, no one would question me. In fact, he would have paid it long ago. The injury is no different. Because I carry my scars on the inside does not make them less important, or traumatic and the need to ensure he does not victimize another woman is just as important as any other crime. But no one is taking care of this. So I am. And Victim Witness is not paying for my thousands of dollars of therapy. So he's going to. Because it's the right thing. These are the choices HE made in HIS life. He chose them. You rob a bank, you go to jail. You live a double life, hold someone against their will (and a whole bunch of other stuff), and financially benefit from your fraud, you're going to have to pay them back. That's the law.  Why his wife is with him, I have no idea. But I realized long ago that when she chose to stay with him she chose to suffer his consequences with him and that was her choice.

I didn't choose to have this happen to me. But I can choose to make it stop. And I can choose to hold him accountable.

Matt received the demand letter from the attorney yesterday at 2:22pm according to delivery confirmation. I don't know if that means he signed for it or if it was just left in his mailbox.

Between 12:30am and 1:00am or so, I was in the bathtub, trying to relax. Charlie started crying and running all over the house. Whimpering. From the front sliding class doors, digging and clawing at the glass, to running to the back of the house and crying and clawing at it back there.

I got out of the tub soaking wet and walked into my room where Charlie Brown was standing in my bed crying.

A face was pressed against the bottom corner of my bedroom window and I SCREAMED as hard and loud as I ever had. It disappeared from the glass and ran around the corner. I fell to the bottom of my bed shaking and crying and rocking myself into hysteria.

Then I couldn't decide if it really had just happened, because it's crazy, and he would have to be STUPID to come to my house, and if it wasn't him, how could so many insane things happen at my house in just a year? Then I sat there and thought I must be going insane, which seemed much more probable.  Except I know what I saw. I was so afraid to leave the house I didn't take the dog outside to go potty the next day (today) until after 4:00pm.

He has to go again and I don't know what to do. It's dark out. I am afraid. I have a therapy appointment and a doctor's appointment and I don't know what to do. The agoraphobia feelings are just raging. I was thinking earlier maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe I can't do this. Maybe I'm not up to it. But it's too late now.

And I would always regret it if I didn't do it.

I just want to remember today.

Leader: Bin Laden Death To Usher In New Era Leader Says He Expects Better US-Muslim Relations

POSTED: 9:40 pm PDT May 1, 2011
UPDATED: 9:43 pm PDT May 1, 2011

LOS ANGELES -- A prominent Muslim leader says he expects the death of Osama Bin Laden to usher in a new, positive era of U.S.-Muslim relations, helping Americans to distinguish extremist terrorists from the mainstream Islamic faith.


Salam Al-Marayati, president of the Muslim Public Affairs Council in Los Angeles, told The Associated Press on Sunday night that the death of the "standard-bearer of terrorism" is "hopefully the end of an era of darkness" in U.S-Muslim relations.


Al-Marayati said some fundamentalist groups may try to seek retaliation for Bin Laden's killing, but he's confident that Bin Laden's demise marks the beginning of the end of terrorism at a time when democracy is spreading throughout the Middle East


Read more: http://www.kcra.com/news/27739736/detail.html#ixzz1LBKfQEas

AHHHHHH!

I HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How dumb are they to accept my application? lol Don't they know I'm crazy? Oh, wait... did I forget to mention that?

::happy dance::