Dog vs. Cat SMACKDOWN

I've been wanting to show these for awhile, but had trouble gettiing online and I have been out of town and SO BUSY. Here is Toulouse my little boy cat and Charlie Brown my Beagle engaging in their nightly wrestling match. in the first one it may look like Charlie is picking on Tootie, but if Toot doesn't like it, he can just run away. And trust me, there are plenty of times he just walks straight up to Charlie BB and smacks him on the head to get things started! lol Excuse the mess... why clean up when they're going to run all over it anyway?

Toulouse is ONE PAW OLD!

Awww, Tootie is one whole paw old! He is FOUR! FOUR FOUR FOUR! Can you believe it? That is one whole paw! He is the only one of my babies living at home (Mary is in heaven) who I have had since they were a baby. Isn't he so sweet?!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOULOUSE! We love you!

Wordless Wednesday: Ever wonder what it's like to drive 9 hours with 2 cats?

Amelia uses the litterbox on the freeway.... Toulouse made THIS FACE...

Toot puttin' in his order at Arby's. He REALLY liked the lady who waited on us. He wanted to jump in the restaurant and snuggle her.

Wordless Wednesday: Thanksgiving

Don't worry... the nest had already been long abandoned and the eggs were frozen solid! Tootie thought they smelled delightful though!

November in Oregon

In November I went to visit my Mom in Oregon for just over two weeks. It was hard. I hard a hard time being around the men in my family and had to have a "coversation" with my mom about it before I came to visit about not being touched or hugged and despite that I still have some conflict with her about it. Since she has been with her partner/common-law husband/signigicant other she has started praying by holding hands with everyone at the table. This is a problem for me. First, I don't pray this way. Also, it forces me to pray with them. Additionally, it draws huge attention to the fact that I can't bring myself to touch Tony's hand while we pray before the meal. I cried at the table twice before my Mom finally realized how upset I was over it. And this was with Tony sticking up for me. Once we got past this it was pretty smooth sailing though.

Granny got Amelia a mirror.... okay she gave me her mirror but Amelia really liked it. What can I say? She's a girl!

I also gained 17 pounds while I was there. My mom got me off the turkey sandwiches and I had constant stomach aches the whole time from the dietary changes. I spent a good chunk of time running to the bathroom after every meal in agonizing pain, and yet I somehow still gained 17 pounds from my mother force feeding me. (Guilt-feeding me? "You have to eat more! It's not healthy to eat like that!" Mom, I can't fit into my pants now!)

My cats came with me on the trip which was 9 hours each way in the car and it went pretty well. They had fun and they got to see snow for the first time. Amelia was NOT a fan of my mom's dog, but Tootie and Buck were doing tricks together after an hour of knowing each other. ("Sit!" Amazing trick for a cat, huh?)

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Look at those happy feet!


We used the next two on Christmas cards. I did the camera settings and my mom snapped the shots.

I RAN!

Last night I did something I haven't done in months and months... for a lot of reasons, and most recently, for the obvious reasons I have been talking about on this blog for the last two months. I went to the gym.

I had been thinking about it for a few days. I got dressed to go several times and was too... afraid? (not quite the right word...) to go. Last night I finally went. I got dressed to go in the morning and I didn't make it out the door until after 930pm at night but I did go.

It was hard. It was scary. I was afraid of people looking at me. I was afraid of MEN looking at me. I wore a jacket, three shirts, a sports bra, a bra, pants and a pair of bike shorts underneath. I still felt really exposed.

When I got up to the treadmills I about had a heart attack because out of the 20+ treadmills there were probably 4 or 5 guys up there and they were all equally spread out so I couldn't be more than one machine away from any of them. At that point I wasn't sure I could stay, but I did, and I just set up camp next to a woman, and prayed that the guy two machines over would leave soon.

I watched Law and Order on the tv. I was sweating like crazy in all those clothes but I didn't want to take my sweatshirt off because I didn't want the guy on the machine two over to be able to see my body. Do you see what an issue this is becoming? I was completely aware of how out of control it was getting and at the same time I couldn't control my anxiety enough to just take the darn thing off.

This is the "exciting" thing, if you can call it that. I ran! I have had a knee injury (patello-femural syndrome- runner's knee- basically my knee grinds bone on bone) for the last couple of years and haven't been able to take care of it with PT on my own. I have really missed running, especially now with all of this adrenilne from the anxiety built up in me. Well, yesterday, I RAN!

Guess how fast I ran????

3mph.

LOL

Do you have any idea how excruciating it is to run that slow? What was sad was that I was wiped after "running" at that pace for 5 minutes and had to go back to walking! What sucked more was that my knee still ended up hurting afterwards anyway. :( But the pain during was minimal, which is good... but the pain after indicates that my joints are still grinding so I probably shouldn't do it.

So I did leave my house this week, I did an activity, and I did something physical for the first time since everything happened. Lots of firsts.

On the flip side, I was in WalMart last week and needed to stop and take my blood pressure at the pharmacy area (I have to monitor it because of the medication I am on can cause high blood pressure, so I am supposed to check it every time I see a machine). A man was sitting at the machine, but was getting up to leave. I almost cried to see him sitting there because he had touched it. I had to check my BP because it had been a long time since I checked it since I haven't been leaving the house, but I didn't want my body to touch anything he touched. Without even thinking about it, I pulled a piece of paper out of my purse, wrapped it around my arm, and stacked some products on the machine so my skin wouldn't come into contact with anything he had touched and I could still check my BP. Then I cried.

I know it's not normal, and I dont know why I did it. I didn't even think about it, I just did it. It really upset me- both that I did it, and that I was so disturbed that some man had touched the machine. Intellectually I know it's ridiculous. But the rest of me... ??? I don't even know what to think. I told my therapist, she seemed to understand, she said that it was consistent with the trauma I had, she also said that I might need EDMR therapy because of what happened in the house, which is some sort of eye movement thing which desensitizes you from trauma, and she also offered to refer me back to IOP (the outpatient thing.)

I have to go shoot a wedding today. Can't we just shoot me instead?

Oh, and the cat learned how to slide the window open now too, in addition to pulling the screen out. So, the window I had opened a crack, was slid open 8 inches so he could let himself out to go play outside this morning, where I found him wandering around yowling for me in the grass, covered in mud. Thanks Tootie. YOU ARE AN INSIDE CAT! READ THE MEMO!

MY CAT REALLY IS A FREAK

 

Ok, #1, my new favorite song is "Lovely Tonight" by Joshua Radin. I found it on a wedding photographer's blog for a slideshow and I adore it. Go download it. I love the sound. It's fabulous.

#2. Clearly my cats are freaks. Here I set forth the evidence.

a.) Two nights ago Tootie got up at 3am and "killed" a bag of cotton balls. He dragged it all over the house, and sprinkled hundreds and hundreds of shredded cotton balls all over the house. Now my theory is I hit a bunny ( my first road kill incident- I cried! I fel tawful for the baby bunny :( ) and I think Tootie was traumatized by his Mommy being a bunny killer and he acted out the murder (Peter Cottontail=Rabbit=Bunny=Cotton balls) LOL Ok I am kidding, but seriously he made a HUGE mess. See pictures of huge mess. When he finnished doing this, I guess he got hungry because he then got a bag of baked pretzels OUT OF THE CUPBOARD and OPENED THE BAG and ATE THEM. Not kidding. No one believed me. WHich brings me to part b....

b.) I am up late working and I hear a noise, and here is Tootie, walking out of the kitchen with ANOTHER bag of baked pretzels. He carried them around in his mouth, ripped open the bag and ate them.

Therefore, my cats are freaks. And I have proof!!!

Additionally, for your viewing pleasure, here is Tootie trying to dig a HOLE in the mirror, and hiding in a pile of blankies.

:/