Emily's Adventures in Wonderland

ON BEING ANGRY

So I told that girl what her boyfriend had done to me. (Humiliating me in public, calling me names, laughing at me, putting me down for my family, called me trash, said everything I said was garbage, inferred I was promiscuous [I AM NOT!] in front of a group of CLASSMATES in addition to excluding me, putting me down, throwing garbage in my face, mocking my friend's, taking pleasure in other people's pain, etc.)

and she initially handled it will. I had no intention of telling her anything, ever, but she said something about me ignoring him or being rude (WHICH I AM NOT! I am always polite, just not overly friendly, nor do I initiate contact. We are not friends, why would I?) and I got mad and I just exploded on the phone. I literally could not hold the words in my mouth. They just flew out of my mouth and I was telling her everything before I could stop myself and I knew it was a mistake.

See, because he's her BOYFRIEND. Of course she will take his side, do everything she can to minmize the situation, belittle my feelings and then make me out to be psycho for being so angry. She's his girlfriend. Of course her loyalty is to him, and not me.

Even though I know these things and expect nothing less from her, I am on the flip side absolutely LIVID that she would not be 1.) angry with HIM 2.) hurt for ME 3.) and DUMP HIM because clearly, he is not a good guy. Good guys don't act how he acts. HELLO!

She suprisingly handled it well, thanked me for trying to leave her out of it the last few months, and thanked me for telling her the truth. She didn't minimize the incident where he called me "trash" too much, but overall tried to explain away his actions. Which I tried really hard not to be angry about. You can't explain away behavior like that. He's just a ... well you know....[ INSERT ANGRY ADJECTIVE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

He is not a nice person. There are NO excuses. PERIOD.

But I did apologize for bringing her into it, told her I hoped I hadn't hurt her in any way and that I really did understand that her perspective of him was totally different from mine and that it always hurt me when people said unkind things about David, because David was my partner and therefore an extension of myself. So if you said something about him, you hurt me, because I chose to be with him, and therefore that was an insult to me, because I chose to be with that person- or "a person like that." Like if I said he was a jerk, then she looks bad because she's dating someone whose a jerk.

So anyway, things seemed ok, or fixable. But then I was on my way to my favorite Starbucks to study and drink tea, and she texted me and asked for directions! So she would be there too. So I gave her directions. Then she said her boyfriend was coming too.

I was so mad! First of all, I go to that Starbucks EVERY DAY. I have told a select few about it (the inside is open 24 hours so I can study all night if I want) and we study there. I go there because I HATE going to school to study because he is ALWAYS there. Therefore, I go to Starbucks to avoid him. And he is NOW GOING TO BE GOING THERE TOO!

So I went right back home, and she texted me again and said that "everyone is mature enough to deal with us al being here." So of course the inference is that if I don't go I am immature.

I will tolerate being polite to him at school but I am not going to voluntarily socialize with him and have him be up in my business. He really hurt me. He is and was really awful to me. I talked to him about it, and it got worse. So I don't ever want to be around this person again because he is clearly not an adult. So anyway, I went home.

Then I was mad because she inferred I was immature if I didn't go. Which I think is really poopy.

And she was like, well lots of people at shcool don't like each other and they get along just fine. You are belitting my HATRED of this guy who insulted my FAMILY, ME PERSONALLY, my BELIEFS and my FRIENDS and my LIFE AS A WHOLE, to just "not liking him?????" WHAT?!


Look, I am not a rude or unkind person. So I may really hate him, but if I walked into a store and saw him there, I'd say "Hi" give him the head bob, and be polite because that's what you do. I am not going to sit in Starbucks across the room from him for hours and hours and ignore him. But I am not going to be in a social position where I have to HANG OUT with him or STUDY with him either!


I AM SO ANGRY! And now I am sitting at home watching tv instead of studying, which is what I would be doing if I were at Starbucks. I am furious. Somebody help me!! I want to cry I am so frustrated.