Oh, boy.

I don't know what to do!

I am trying to get back on the SKINNY WAGON and I am seriously struggling.

My lowest weight ever (like in my life since I was like, 12) was 167.4 and that was in July or August I think. I have been exercising the last few weeks and I am like 178-179 and I feel pretty yucky in my clothes. It is hard to remind myself that I weigh much less now than I used to- and that I actually weigh what it says on my driver's license- which was a lie when I put it on there- at 16! (It says 179. I jut picked a random number at the DMV. lol) Those are all good things! Great things! But it is hard to remember when you know what it was like 11 pounds lighter and how different your body looked and felt. It was very weird.

Here is something odd, that I have realized as I have lost weight. When I was a size 18, and I lost like, 5 pounds, or even 10 pounds, I could look in the mirror at myself, at my tummy, and see NO difference at all.





(I am sorry I have no clothes on. I could not figure out how to get my model dressed. Virtual Emily is from MyVirtualModel http://www.mvm.com/ I used to use this as a weight loss motivator because you make her look like you and then you can adjust her weight to see what you look like now or skinnier, etc.)

The more weight I have lost, the more apparent weight fluctuations are to me. At 170 I could look in the mirror and tell instantly if I was bloated or was up even a single pound. I could tell- my body looked different. I always thought those skinny girls were lying when they would say that they were having a "fat day" or that they looked bloated. But it is so true!



I have found that the 170-180 is a VERY pivotal weight range for me. It's the difference between me being able to see the pounds and not. It's the place where my belly goes from rounded to straight down. It's the difference between fitting perfectly and cutely and adorably into a size 10, and skipping straight back to a 14.

Side note, I'm still stuffed into a Size 10. LOL

Ok, so philosophical thoughts aside, I'm confused as to what to do to get going. Because I've been working out consistently for probably around a month with I'm sure some fitness benefits, but no weight loss, or difference in my clothes.



So I think I need to make some major dietary changes to get going. And to make myself not so hungry all the time and wanting to snack. I also know that I don't drink NEARLY enough water. The medications I am on make me dehydrated- and the one that has the worst dehrdration related side effects is also the one they are like tripling in dosage. So I REALLY have to increase my water intake. By ALOT. But I don't feel thirsty... I just get all of those other lovely things that happen when you don't drink enough, if you catch my drift. Ugh.



I am sure I have reduced my caloric intake by at least some, but I need a more drastic cut. Also, I really need that first week weight loss like on the Biggest Loser to get motivated here. I have never desired that, but man would it sure help right now! I also think my diet is severely lacking in protein, and vegetables at the moment. I do eat veggies, and have them in the fridge, and had veggies fajitas the other night, etc., but if I am supposed to be following the food pyramid, I am not anywhere close.



I also really like buying fruit, and then letting it sit in the fridge untouched for 6 months to a year. Hmmm. Ok, maybe not that long, but close. I don't mind fruit, but I just don't tend to eat it, no matter how good my intentions are. Or I will eat a little bit for a couple days and then forget about it. I'm just not a big fan of fruit. If I am at a party and there is a big platter of it, I'll totally fill up on it. I eat it at weddings all the time. But not at home...



I think I need to like drink a really low cal soupy broth for a few days, to help curb the cravings. I was thinking chiken broth, and maybe throw some carrotts, celery, etc. in so I get to chew. (I LOVE to chew! I have noticed this to be an issue if I try Slim Fast shakes. I will be full and happy after drinking it, but I will desperately be dying to chew something. lol) Anyway, I thought that if I had some soup or something instead of an actual snack inbetween meals I would get my water intake up, and reduce my caloric intake whilst still being satisfied.

But then i was worried about all the sodium in chicken broth, or it's alternatives.

Who has some ideas they would like to share with me?

I was a very nice girl and I added lots of pictures to entertain you since I know it is boring just to read all my writing. I talk too much. And write too much!