That one Tinder Guy

So there was this one guy I met on Tinder. I think.

It was the week I moved back to Sacramento and I even think I might have started talking to him before I moved. I was so lonely and so anxious about moving that I just wanted to meet ANYBODY, even a friend right away. We didn't do a ton of get to know you's in advance, but I did call him out on not being a good texter and he said he was a better conversationalist in person.

This was of course was a lie. This is always a lie. Never believe this. If they can't text, they can't talk. Believe nothing else. Unmatch, unmatch, unmatch.

The guy lived downtown, and was walking distance from Rubicon. He suggested we go there. Because he goes there several times a week and it's comfortable for him. ...And being on a guy's home turf is always stellar for the ladies.

I had never been there before and when I walk up to the outside, it's totally cute. The street atmosphere and people watching outside is great. ...But I don't see my date outside. So I peep inside... He's inside. At a laminate table in a corner. Where it's super noisy. He's cute- looks exactly like his pictures for sure. But the atmosphere inside blows.

And oh yeah. We have nothing in common. I order a cheap $5 beer  that I sip and struggle to entertain us both for the next two hours while he eats dinner as slowly as possibly but somehow chugs 2-3 drinks. I didn't realize I'd be the guy's dinner entertainment.

Finally the bill comes. Relief! The guy is attractive but we have nothing in common. The only time I could even get him to perk up was when I got him to talk about a heavy metal concert. It was nice to see him get excited about something, but literally, he showed no joy or excitement about ANYTHING. I wasted at least 40 minutes talking about beers and breweries (yes, Oregon educated me enough to suck up that much air space) and still, barely anything. I don't get it. I figured he'd at least offer to pick up my $5 beer since he ran up at least a $30 tab all on his own- but-- he doesn't. And I don't have cash. So I pull out my credit card (all I have) and he says- "Oh, you don't want to split that, mine was more than yours." (Yeah, by like $25!) So I just ask the waitress to pull out my $5 beer off the tab, which she has trouble doing because he had ordered SO MANY beers...

It was just bad manners. He should have offered to just cover it. The waitress probably took 10 minutes to figure it out and the guy was not hurting for cash. I know this is a double standard on my part but... It was annoying. But I paid for my own beer, and no, I didn't ditch him, even though I knew it wasn't a match. AND I did let him friend me on facebook after, although I have no idea why. (And I have since deleted him, because he never made an effort to strike up a friendship. I told him flat out afterwards- when I was "thanking" him for the "date" that I didn't think there was chemistry, and he agreed, and asked to friend me.)

Don't go out with people who can't text. It means they can't talk, and you have nothing in common!