I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT!!!
Ahh! I don't know what I want to do with my life! I am so frustrated! I am good at photography and make quite alot of money doing with with repsective little effort. (It's alot of work, but it doesn't feel like it in comparison to the pay) And I could make alot more if I crossed over and became a "professional" including the licenses, insurance, shooting more technically, upgrading my equipment, etc. But I just don't like the chaos of it. The schedule is irregular, I work every single weekend and at home isolated during the week. I thought about the idea of baby photography like Skye Johansen, but there aren't as many babies here in the market for fabulous pictures like that and I don't have a knack with photographing children yet like I do with couples.
I am really frsutrated with law school and everything that has happened since I have been in it. I have had like the endless stream of bad luck ever since I first got my acceptance to Western and it has been downhill from then, people died, pets died, people having nervous breakdowns, huge amounts of weight gain, relationship problems, friendship problems, work problems, financial problems, being harrassed and stalked! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Is this is the universe's way of telling me this is the wrong path for me, or has it just been a really crummy 3 years??
A thought that occured to me today was getting a Master's in History, and I could enroll as soon as Spring and I wouldn't have to take the GRE... honestly the idea was this HUGE relief. The thought of just reading in a more relaxed way and not having to take notes and just writing term papers- WHAT A RELIEF that would be!!! Doing research.... hanging out in the basement at sac state going through the periodicals.... So nice! AHHH Something I know how to do and isn't that hard!!! And I used to love it until I had this huge issue with a particular professor my last semester which totally killed my dreams of teaching high school history. I wanted nothing to do with the history department whatsoever the exerience was so negative.
But now I am wondering... and then now I am wondering, but if I did that, what kind of a job could I get when I graduated?????
I am still sick and have been sick for a week and a half now. YUCK
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