Things sure do change quickly around here!

In my last personal post, I told you about how I had been struggling with how I should plan out my future since it looked like Matt would be relocating to Oregon after his stint at FLETC in Georgia. And guess what? He's thinking he might not go now! lol



What will I ever do with this man? lol



He's informed me he just has this strong gut feeling that it's not the right choice. That's all he could give me.



With every decsion he makes... I understand him more and more. I don't know why, but he's just starting to make sense to me! lol



I was and am surprised about this new development, and it hasn't quite sunk in yet. I was quite upset when he told me he was accepting the job with ATF because he would be gone so long, move so far away, and would potentially lose all of his backpay from the CHP. But then, as I always do, I got used to it, accepted it, and embraced it. I even designed my own "I love my Apecial Agent" t-shirt! And I ordered a ATF zip up sweatshirt! Here's a picture:





It says "Alcohol, Tobbacco & Firearms: Who's bringing the food?"

lol Obviously I got it just to be funny.


lol So now, what am I going to do with my new clothes?! lol


I looked up the return policy with Cafe Press and I've got 30 days to return them, so I guess Matt has 30 days to decide whether he is taking this position or not!


He doesn't have any new offers other than what I've already mentioned, but that doesn't mean he won't get more. It's totally possible he could get offered a job with ATF much closer to home- like in San Francscio, which would be great- way closer to home, to his parents, to me. I don't know if that's what he is thinking in the back of his head or not, but it's a possibility.

I was driving around a couple of days ago and I was overcome with this flood of memories of when I used to drive out to Fairfield to meet Matt for lunch in our early days of dating. I think one week I drove out there 4 days in a row. Each day I went out he would fuss over me for driving so far and get a puppy-dog look on his face and say how wonderful I was for doing that. Then he'd say how worried he was about me driving out there, the gas, the miles on my car... lol He always paid for my lunch and gave me some hugs and kisses so it felt like a fair trade to me! He still has never once let me pay for anything. Never! Even when he came last week to visit and we walked around the corner to get something to drink he wouldn't let me pay, and wouldn't even let me bring my purse so I "couldn't try anything." lol The gentlemen in him is cute.

Anyway, thinking about those days, last spring.., he was so, so happy doing his job. He never had any discontent or worry when he worked out of the Fairfield office. He saw his folks every other weekend, he got lots of daytime shifts... He was happy there. Meeting him at work, (checking him out in his super cute uniform!) sharing a meal and chatting was so fun. I loved that. Our second date, we met at Kinder's (a BBQ place near his office) for lunch and we shared a hug for the first time! I miss that. I gave him some Kinder's BBQ sauce for Christmas (they sell it, it's so good!) but it's just not the same. The pace of his life here was just completely different.


It makes me sad.

There is still a possibility he can go back to the CHP. He hasn't heard from them yet. He had expressed to me quite bitterly that he didn't want to. But he loved his job and if he went back his life wouldn't have to undergo any of these massive changes. It's the simplest solution. I wonder if he is hoping again that that door isn't quite shut yet...

The one year anniversary of our first official date is on Tuesday, April 27th! :)