Thank you and MORE back story about Matt

Thank you so much everyone who has written me and asked for invites. I can't actually tell if anyone is reading any of my new posts on here because I don't think it's showing up on your feeds, so none of you are clicking on the direct links. So although I have responded to and sent out more than a dozen invitations, it looks like no one is here.

So if you're out there, please feel free to drop me a comment to let me know you got in here okay and found my posts and are getting updated. This is the third post since we went private.

Post #1 Why I went Private and My Big Secret from You

Post #2 Monday Really Sucked and the Content in Post #1 Scared me into Derangement

Post #3.... You're reading it right now. But here's a link for fun anyway.
I'm still updating at the old address when I update here so you can see in your feed when you need to switch over.

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The reason I made the big switch on the addresses and made everything private (did I actually say this before?) is because of the lawsuit.

When I was trying to figure things out back in August 2010, I knew something was going on with Matt but I didn't know what. I hit a certain point in my snooping and I couldn't go any further. I was SURE he was lying, I had already caught him lying about his parent's first and last names, and his brother's, wife and their children's names and where everyone lived. I had confirmed all of that. But I didn't know what his name was, or if there was more to it than that. I was stuck.

I emailed his cousin, who I found through searching who I thought were his parents (actually were his aunt & uncle) on Spokeo and a bunch of other websites and found his cousin, who is a wedding photographer. I recognized the logo pop up in the image search results and I tracked her down. After a lot of hesitation, I emailed her from an anonymous email address and asked for her help. She was very hesitant, but agreed to help me as long as I did not "out" her to her family. Up to that point, all I told her was that I was in a long term relationship with a guy and I thought he might be lying, but I wasn't sure. There was a possibility he might have lied about his marital status and parental status, but I had no idea. I said she should be able to know these things off the top of her head, and I reassured her that this person was NOT her husband or Dad or anything like that.

She hesitated, but said fine.

So I launched into it, and I told her, basically, the sum of my relationship with Matt in a paragraph, including his alma mater, where he grew up, and his full name and career history.

She emailed me back asking for a picture for us together and I burst into tears.

Then she asked to know how I found her.

Then she answered. She told me everything and it was SHE who outed him. She had no idea what he had been doing either, but she told me his real middle and last name, that he had lied about the college he went to (she went to U of O, not him), he had used her parents names, but he did tell the truth about their occupations. She also told me he was married, and her name, and that they had a child. It was she who told me that the tattoo on Matt's back was not of the officer friend who died in the line of duty, but of his daughter's name. And that he had gotten it on vacation in Hawaii with his in-laws... When he was calling, texting and emailing me, claiming to be on a guy's trip.

And during all of our email correspondence back and forth I made a BIG mistake.

I sent her the link to this blog.

At the time, this blog had a giant header of me and Matt; one picture when we first started dating, and another at our on year anniversary. The caption: "Loving since April 2009."

She was totally appalled, and then, as we went through my options, proposed she send the link to my blog to Sydney claiming she had "accidentally" discovered it. I told her no way, it's a private blog, I don't publish the address on search engines, etc., and there's no way you would have found it. My clients don't have access to it because it's private from them. I need that boundary. I gave the cousin my phone number instead and told her I was going to the house. She texted and tried to talk me out of it, but we went back and forth and I TOLD her:

1.) She wouldn't believe a phone call. I'd think it was a prank. The story is too ridiculous.
2.) If I wrote a letter, there's no telling he wouldn't get it first and shred it.
3.) Again, an email, it's not believable. It's not real.

The only real option was to go to the house and tell Sydney what he had done face to face. I told her because she deserved to know. Because she deserved to protect herself from her sociopathic husband, and I deserved to have been told and no one did. I told her, because someone should have told me.

I realized that the other day.

I did for her what should have been done for me. I did it, because *I* deserved it.

When I was in the house she thanked me over and over. "Thank you for being honest." "Thank you for coming to me. " "I am so glad someone could." She said this last one nastily giving Matt a dirty look, but still, it's true. We both deserved to be told. We both deserved for it never to have happened, but since it did, we had the right to know. To protect our hearts, minds, bodies, and for Sydney, her daughter. That she declined to was her choice. One I don't understand, but it was her choice.

Anyway, I know Matt's cousin had the address to my blog. And when I started getting a bunch of weird hits (30 a day?) in a town 10 miles from where he grew up, and where his family still lives about 6 months ago, I freaked out.

Now that we are 5.5 days away from the deadline we gave Matt in the demand letter, I don't what anyone in his family turning up on my blog. I don't want to go to court and have this stuff out there. For the record, if it did, I don't have anything to be afraid of or ashamed of. This is the truth of what happened and what he did. But that doesn't mean I'm going to print the thing out, laminate it, and Fed Ex it to his front porch.

I might do that with some dog poop, though. Can you laminate dog poop? Will it retain the same odor?

I've been watching a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Amazon Prime before bed, (because it makes me excited for kickboxing class) and in the later seasons there is what is called a "Vengeance Demon" who grants wishes to wronged women. The Vengeance Demon became a demon when her boyfriend cheated on her with a "bar maiden." So she turned him into a troll.

I want a Vengeance Demon for Christmas, please.