Winter Term Grades & Dating

Lets start with the fun stuff (obviously NOT school): Dating. Or, "date," singular. I went out with Alex about 10 days ago. It was great, I rapidly developed this HUGE out of control crush on him (due to lack of activity in this area of my life over the last few years, I'm sure) and with a few bouts of doubt, finally accepted he's just not interested and I have no idea if he ever was.

I got all emotional earlier today and my one guy friend (Vince, from HS) called and let me bawl on the phone with him for about an hour about how no one wants me and that I'm unlovable and only attract losers. (Vince was very gracious [or too dumb] to realize the loser label would have included him, but he said nothing. Probably a wise choice given my whining.).  I'm still a dweller, so it'll probably take awhile (few days... Or years... Y'all know me by now) to block out his name and this super embarrassing fantasy I know you all know I invented in my head about it. But, this is the difference between three years ago and now. I don't know if I'll be in a relationship again, but I know I'll get over this and be fine. I'm mostly embarrassed,definitely rejected and a little hurt. It'll be okay, though. This I know.

Meanwhile to save face I am back pedaling into friendship mode. I still enjoy the guys company, think he's interesting and who knows, maybe he'll introduce me to my next best friend, a work associate, or maybe even someone who DOES want to date me. So... Deep breaths. I'm rusty, but that's okay. 

Next, grades and end of term. Finals were hell. I wrote over 80 pages of finals, six different papers including 4 research papers. Pure hell. One teacher told me I was an incompetent writer and needed serious help from the undergraduate writing center. Super upsetting experience- to the point I'm embarrassed to see her or work with her again.

Another paper I killed myself over and LOVED writing I got a B on. A "B"?! That's basically flunking in a grad program and is my lowest grade in this entire program. I was pissed at myself and wished I could have re-done it. Still considering it. I was pretty panicked that even though I had A's on the other assignments that I wouldn't be able to save myself from the dreaded B grade. As someone who flunked law school with C's and had a 2.8 undergrad average, grades are important to me now. 

Waiting for grades was a very anxiety provoking experience, but now that they are posted,  I'll let you check them out for yourself! 

Not so bad right? Who knew they gave A+'s in grad school?!