First date with Chris at Vero

Chris is another fella I picked up on OK Cupid. I forget who contacted who. Chris just moved to Oregon from Texas, and literally was messaging me the week he arrived in town. His brother had obtained a teaching position and had moved from Colorado to here and Chris was invited along. His undergraduate degree is in International Relations and he said he had been unable to find relevant work in Texas so he decided to to go on an adventure. While there are a decent amount of non-profits here, I'm not sure I agree with that logic. That said, he got an interview as an post-placement worker with Holt International (the international adoption agency, specializing mostly in Asian country [Korea/China] adoptions) almost right away. I would love to work for Holt, so I was pretty jealous!

Chris was a pretty good texter (good grammar, witty comebacks, etc.) but I had some hesitations. Everything on paper looked great, but his photos... It was kind of like David (college boyfriend), he could have gone "either way" in the looks department. Also disconcerting was the fact that he wasn't smiling with teeth in any photo...

Of course you know what I'm thinking. Any man (or person) who doesn't smile with teeth in pictures is hiding something. Either a.) a total lack of teeth, or b.) teeth so jacked up they don't want anyone to see them. Smiling without teeth (pursed lips) is also a huge red flag on a dating website. Particularly if they have 20 pictures and NONE of them show any hint of teeth.

Electing to be  transparent, I just randomly texted him before our date was scheduled: "So, do you have teeth?!"
...."Is this an inquiry regarding my overall health, or just a random question?" He replied.

I laughingly explained and he teasingly assured me that yes, he did indeed have teeth.

Phew.

The week I went out with K, I scheduled this coffee date with Chris. We met at Vero, which is an adorable little espresso place inside an old Victorian. I don't think the coffee or food is particularly good or noteworthy, but the atmosphere is. It's where I went on my first date with Alex back in March/April (his suggestion) and I think it's a good place for such a thing. The outdoor patio is charming, has a nice view of the neighborhood, and the tables are far enough apart to have a private conversation.

When I drove past Vero, I immediately saw Chris out front and got nervous. While unemployed, he was good on paper and I didn't know much about him. I parked blocks away to give myself some time to walk and breathe and then strolled up next to him on the steps of the restaurant.

After saying "Hi," and getting in line, the next thing I said was... "Let me see your teeth!" (In an attempt to be charming/funny.)

He laughed, and awkwardly smiled, showing me his massive collection of mildly snaggled teeth.

Oops.

I really need to stop saying and doing things like this.

Being a tactless person though, I'm sure my friends expect nothing less from me.

From the back Chris was fairly attractive and I would say, perfectly in my "league." From the front however... it wasn't that he wasn't cute. He was. He just looked about 10 years old than he really is (according to his profile anyway) and had a massive front- comb over. (His hair was pulled straight and long in front to hide a receding hairline above his forehead.) It really, really "dated" him.

I realize that I am now 31 years old. That is old. (Old enough). But I don't think I'm ready to date someone who LOOKS 40. In fact, the older I get, the more okay I am with dating men younger than me. A friend who lives on the East Coast mentioned that she has an acquaintance who is 24 years old and seriously looking and would like to set him up with someone. While that seems way too young for me, now it gives me pause. What the hay? Right? If we're on the same page, if he's younger that just means we'll hopefully get more years together because men statistically die  before women do.  If I date a guy who is younger, we can die together! Perfect! I've spent 31 years alone. I don't want to spend the last 20 years of my life alone too! (Although I recognize I have no control over that and plenty of people do it and are perfectly happy. However, having already spent ALL of my adult years so far without a life partner, I really feel like I have paid my dues. No?)

Anyway, back to the Snaggle-Toothed-Comb-Over-Dude. From the moment he bared his teeth at me (brave soul), I knew this was not a match. However, keeping David (unattractive college boyfriend) in mind, I went through with our date. I did not want Snaggle-Toothed-Comb-Over-Dude (STCOD) to be aware of my instant rejection of him because it was just mean. Also, I should give him a chance. And... it gives me more of a chance to practice socializing with men. Thank you STCOD for giving me that opportunity.

I let the conversation go a full two hours. Mostly we talked about my dog. At least I know I can keep a conversation going for a full two hours about anything, let alone my dog. I eventually told him I had to get rolling so I could go give my cat his insulin shot (seriously), and we said goodbye.

I felt really bad over the whole thing. There was truly nothing wrong with him other than that I was not attracted to him. That made me feel very shallow. He was also pretty shy, which did not help with the chemistry thing at all. Once in awhile he gave out a hearty laugh and a genuine smile and I thought that was nice. But really... This was not a match.