For one, I've had the flu the last 10 or so days, which means that I was having a hard time even hitting 1200 calories because I just wasn't hungry. I couldn't even smell my food and there was no fun in it. I might have been enticed if someone had delivered me Happy Meals (my beloved "sick" food item... Yes, I know that makes no sense, but it's a sort of comfort food item from childhood, so it all kind of works around!) but since there was no delivery person available (still single over here) and also I'm broke, that was not in the cards. Hitting 1200 at a minimum was carefully planned and I made up at least half the calories per day in cookies. Kid you not.
The other side of this is, while I am still definitely sick, I am no longer running a fever and got up and ran errands today. I felt good yesterday too. Where did that lead? To me wanting to binge all day long. Granted, I'm not doing horrendous... but I logged 1900 calories in food yesterday and I gave up logging today at 1600 because I couldn't even remember all of the things I had bit, nibbled and tasted all day long.
Tomorrow I want to make a plan to eat decisively all day. I will try to consciously get up and eat breakfast, rather than laying in bed whining to myself. I am hoping if I eat more earlier on, it will make a difference in the late night snacking. I'm also hoping it doesn't rain tomorrow. The humidity from the rain made it near impossible for me to run yesterday and I turned home after I started having an asthma attack. (Something which hasn't happened in years and I was totally unprepared for.) If it's not rainy and not quite so humid, my hope is I can make another attempt at a training run (1 year in and I'm on Week 4 of Couch to 5k...) or at least a long (4-5 mile) walk with the dogs.
The last few weeks have seen a decrease in my physical activity- mostly due to weather and being over-scheduled, but also some changes in my eating. I developed some weird problems this fall and I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It seems like I've developed something similar to acid reflux, although I wouldn't quite label it as that. When I eat particular foods, I have gotten a very fast- and intense- stomach reaction which mostly leads to me throwing up. With the help of a friend, we figured out raw tomatoes were a huge trigger point after I vomited up my entire dinner from a great sit down restaurant we went to in Bend after our Cosmos 7K race in September. Probably about 15 minutes after I had finished eating and we had gotten into the car I had to pull over and run in a gas station to be sick, and was sick the whole way home afterwards. (Sarah drove). It was really awful. I've tried to avoid raw tomatoes since, but have also had trouble with high-fat foods, or things that seem like they would produce gas. If I eat even a little too much, my stomach bloats and I have excruciating pain unless I head it off with a gas pill- I'll throw it back up. It's made me a lot more contentious of portion size and pacing myself while I'm eating. I haven't been to the doctor and at this point, don't plan to. It seems that with behavior modification I don't have a problem and I'm not interested in allergy testing or going on any medication. My suspicion is this has something to do with the dietary changes I made when I started dieting this year and maybe I gave myself a sensitivity or something. My gut says (har-de-har-har) that it will go away with time, or I'll figure out how to manage it.
These things said, I've done really good on my weight this fall, and my one year total loss is just over 25 pounds! That puts me squarely half way to my goal weight. On the one hand, I'm thrilled and so excited I have gotten down this far. On the other... I know it's at about this weight I usually get stuck, and then end up gaining it all back, so I also feel a little paranoid. What makes this time any different than the other couple times I've been down this far? (2004 post-college and 2010 post-Matt are the only times since junior high my weight has been in this range.) Another thing... both previous times at this weight (181/182) I was around a size 10. I'm currently a size 14. I find that wildly disappointing. This weird 30 year old puberty I went through where everything seemed to shift around seems to have left my belly hanging out in the cold. That is a HUGE bummer. Especially since I have been exercising, it's not like I don't have muscle mass... Apparently my belly doesn't care what the rest of me is doing, I guess.
So, my plan is to keep running down these next 25 pounds. I'm hoping it doesn't take a whole additional year to get there, but if I make it at all, it will be amazing. Just to even lose 3 pounds before the new year would be amazing... I'd be in the 170's, I'd be the weight on my driver's license (made up when I put it there in high school... Truly, I picked a random number. I probably weighed 210 at the time.), and I'd also officially cross over from "obese" to "overweight" on the BMI scale, which is something I would be proud of, regardless of the reliability of that measurement. 170's and below are really unfamiliar territory for me, as when my weight was that low before, it only lasted a few days or weeks before I rebounded. (Again, I'm nervous) I'm also really excited though, too. I'm hopeful those smaller pant sizes are more forthcoming in the pounds to come!
Here I am so far, as of 6-7 pounds ago. The "before" is from my sister's wedding and the dress was not flattering and I returned it afterwards. My clothes in the second picture are much more form fitting since I had just finished my 12k!
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