Financial Freedom

Source: https://www.etsy.com/listing/62656464/unless-life-also-hands-you-water-and?ga_search_query=lemonade

My finances have been incredibly stressful lately. I'm not really sure what's going on, but business has plummeted. I'm just not receiving the volume of inquiries I used to. It's gone on for so long that I've depleted my savings and gotten myself into real trouble. I always pay off my credit cards every month and I've had to dial back in order to conserve the limited funds I had left. I was looking at a savings account balance of only $1500 total and I was going to be in real trouble. I moved some things around, took some penalties and reserved some savings, but I really didn't have much left.

I also made some big sacrifices and changes.

My biggest regret is not recognizing how much of a difference those changes would make and that I could have made them sooner and made my savings last a whole lot longer.

I've recognized a few bad habits in myself that really suck up my finances:

Wasteful grocery spending
Fast food expenditures
Take out
Online shopping

This accounted for HUGE charges every month. Like dramatic charges. I don't have exact numbers for you but it was A LOT. In the hundreds, at least.

I completely banned all online shopping period, all fast food, all take out, all unnecessary driving, and strategically planned my trips to the grocery store to coincide when I would be in that area. I had hoped to get my grocery bill down to $25 a month. (From like, I'm sure $300+ or something insane. I have absolutely no idea. I just bought whatever.)

How on earth could I do that?

Well, first of all, I started eating all that expired food out of my freezer. That was #1.

#2, I stopped shopping at the grocery store. I switched entirely to Grocery Outlet, which is much, MUCH cheaper, and I'm shopping on a $25 budget, which I actually stuck to. I didn't make it a month, I made it about 2 weeks, but when I went back to the store, I shopped with $11 in cash I had found somewhere and only spent that on milk and fruit to tide me over.

I think I'm going to come in somewhere around $100 (possibly under) or something on groceries for the month, which, granted is not $25, but it's better than $300. And I have virtually eliminated all other expenditures which has been a huge help. That also included cat litter, cat food, and some medications. (And chocolate. I cracked.)

I'm still working on my credit cards, which is a problem since I don't have much coming in and am not re-cooping my savings and I'm going to have a huge tax bill. I feel like other people look at my savings accounts and think- oh, that's plenty of money. But you have to remember- I DONT GET A PAYCHECK. I have no idea when the next time I will get paid is! It's not like I can wait 2 weeks and I'll get another check. Even if a client is under contact and "supposed" to pay me on such and such date- there's no guarantee that will really happen. Couples break up, they cancel dates. Nothing is real until that check clears.  And then, that money goes in savings, straight away. I really need $10k+ in savings to be able to sleep at night. Because that's enough money to go 3 months without receiving any income at all and be totally okay, and in my industry, that's pretty much the norm. I booked a wedding last month, and I booked one in December. That's it. That's all I've done in the last 3 months. And the one I booked last month hasn't paid yet, she's on a payment plan. It's INCREDIBLY stressful.

As a sole proprietor, my dad and I figured out I get taxed at almost 40%. WTF?!

Having $1500, or $3k in the bank means I have one month until I live in a cardboard box. I can't o that!!!! I have to have WAY more than that in the bank to be safe! I can't even RISK it getting down that low! Right now, my tax bill alone far exceeds those amounts, so between that and my bills for next month so I am so deep in the red my dad actually offered me my inheritance. (I declined.)

I'm proud that I buckled down and decreased my expenses. I'm not spending as much. Excellent.
I got my gym membership decreased by $15 a month. Cable went down by $35 a month. Photo forum canceled- that's $15 a month saved. Phone plan changed, that saved $70 a month. I considered canceling all of these things, and actually made the calls and tried to do so, and burst into tears on the phone with the rep as he went through the motions to do it and I just couldn't handle it. I don't know why, it was like it was too much change or something. I got them all reduced at least, and they promised I could call back at any time and get them all canceled later.

I ran some mini-sessions and a client purchased some extra time for their event and bam- rent for next month got paid. Another client paid her balance. Great. But it's all basically meaningless. Between rent, health insurance, therapy, student loans, car insurance, dog insurance, the credit card, all of the utility bills, the credit card, and the tax bill thus far, I don't have enough. Not even close. I'll be in the negative a couple thousand dollars at least.

But I can't even handle thinking about it because it is SO awful.

I AM proud of all that I have done so far. I am.

And I do have some more things to do.

I need to amend my taxes from last year. This is hugely stressful because it is such a big job. I also can't do it on this computer because the tax program I have to use isn't compatible with Windows 8, so I have to fire up the old back up computer that is packed away. This is going to get started fairly quickly because I want it done before I do my 2012 taxes. Those are mostly done already (hence I already have a good grip on what I owe), but I am hoping what I overpaid in 2011 can be put towards 2012 and help bail me out/break even.  But the whole thing is going to be very complicated. And NO, I'm not going to go to a tax firm/CPA to do it. I store all of my records online, so it's not like I can present a pile of receipts. I do my taxes by logging into 10 different online accounts and inputting it into excel. I'm a nightmare to work with, I'm sure.

There are also some minor money makers in relation to moving that I want to get done.

Selling the dining room table.

Selling the stereo cabinet.

Selling my GRE books and flashcards.

Possibly selling the Piano. (I am realizing it's going to be hard to move, and I am hoping my mom will give me our family piano at some point).


And some general cleaning house things that will make me feel much better:


Dumping the pile of clothes I've slowly been sorting into a bin at Goodwill.

Getting the garbage out of the house

Continuing to get the bathroom clean, sorted and presentable for company

Throwing out my rugs- but probably not until much closer to the actual move so there's no risk of hurting the carpets in the meantime.

Continuing to dump out my huge collection of magazines.

Progress, progress.

I wish I knew why everything has slowed so dramatically so I could fix it. This post ended up sounded incredibly depressing, but I started writing it because I was really proud of myself and I want to repeat that. I am PROUD OF MYSELF! I got into trouble and I am figuring it out. I'm going to keep working to figure it out. I have tightened my belt and I am going to keep tightening it and thinking hard and applying for jobs until I figure this out. I love my job, but I can't help but be resentful of these hoards of people invading our industry, shooting on automatic and charging for their services. I got beat for a wedding job a couple weeks ago because a friend of the bride's "just started" a business and would only charge $500 for unlimited everything. Her pictures suck and she doesn't know what she's doing. I started in the same place, I know, and we all have to start somewhere, but when you're doing this full time, and you're doing it the right way, I can't tell you have frustrating it is to be beat out by someone who does it as a hobby, and has no freaking clue.