Shopping Excursion!

In all of my years experience as the wonderful girlfriend ;) that I know I am, somehow I never had the experience of shopping with my significant other. Right after Daniel and I DTR'd he asked me to go shopping with him for an entire new wardrobe. My mind was absolutely blown at this request. Not only did he actually want to go shopping, but he wanted me to go with me... and he wanted my input. He actually wanted me present. Matt never shopped ever. (Probably because his wife was the one doing the shopping.... long pause....) and David didn't want me involved in his life at all. I was absolutely delighted. Even more delighted when I ended up behind Daniel at a red light and got to see him rocking out in his Volkswagen by himself, which was hilarious and adorable. (And yes I called him up right then and teased him about it. :)

We struck out at the first store trying to find something that worked for his body shape. I was a little surprised how similar it was shopping for men versus women in some respects. Some things just don't work on certain frames. He was a bit like a deflated balloon after the first store, but once we got him into Banana Republic it was a whole new ball game. I got to actually pick out things for him (!!!!) which was both exciting and intimidating for me, and go in the dressing room with him. I told my friend about it afterwards and she laughed and said, "Yeah, YOU'RE IN A REAL RELATIONSHIP!" I had never experienced such a thing before. It was awesome. He actually listened to my input. Even my bad ideas he went along with until I finally admitted the failure.

It was a lovely afternoon of credit card swiping (so much so he got fraud alert calls while we were out) and we dined at Boudin's after. But again, dinner got weird. While we were eating he mentioned something about an ex-girlfriend having lobster for the first time back east (where he's from) when she met his parents. I wasn't aware she had met his parents, as I had been under the impression it had been a short, non-serious relationship. We had also just discussed this person during our date at the HideAway the week before. It was not so much the content of what he was saying, but the way he said it and the way he primed me. "Well you probably don't want to hear this, but..." And then he would pause and look at me. And so I would prompt him, "Just go ahead." Because I wanted him to be able to tell me anything. And also, he was already saying it. So he went ahead and told me the story.

My internal barometer was reflecting back what he was feeling though and that was pure, raging anxiety. Something felt wrong about that relationship. He had been single for a year and the way he referenced this person felt off. Like it was unresolved or that it had been perhaps a more serious relationship than he had initially let on. I tried to shake off my worries at dinner but it put a damper on the high I had felt all day. Like he had thrown a stick in the spoke of my bicycle.

He had to go home to study for the MPRE so I walked him to his car and we hugged and kissed goodbye but he pulled away a bit and I told him, if you wouldn't fight me on the hugs I wouldn't stall so much- and he apologized for pulling away. Something just still felt off with him. But if I asked him about it, he would just say, "It's No-Fun November!" and that finals stress was getting to him, and the MPRE was a huge deal and he wasn't doing as well on the practice exams as he had hoped. And I of all people certainly understand law school stress. This was probably him just being freaked out over school. So I tried to be supportive and to not complain too much. I hadn't seen him go through exams before and he had cited concerns previously about my (or any partner's) ability to support him through such a stressful time. Law school kills a lot of relationships but we both hoped that my prior knowledge of the experience would leave me better equipped to cope.

So I kissed him goodbye and tried to let it go.