On feeling worthless

No matter what experiences I've gone through- break ups, bad reviews, family fights, dropping out of law school- I've never thought of myself of "less than" or "unworthy."

For the first time, that's not true anymore. Since the break up with Clifton and changing managers (twice) since then, and coming to some resolutions about what I want for my life going forward (essentially nothing...) I have felt my life has no value, meaning or purpose. I am worthless. Literally no one wants me. It doesn't matter what I do or how many degrees I have and or how many publications I have, I am unwanted.

My family doesn't want me. They haven't asked me to spend a holiday with them in years.
I no longer visit close friends. I was asked not to.
Every partner I've had who has meant anything to me has left me.
My friends from college or grad school have told me things like they "might have a work assignment due two weeks from now so it's important they stay close to home." Or, I offered to come visit so we could all spend time together and go to a game together. "Oh I think we'd rather stay home." Ok. So I won't come fly a couple of states to come visit you then... because you don't want to walk ten minutes across your town. No suggestions of other activities so I'm going to take that as you are uninterested in general.
My thoughts and feelings in general are dismissed- at work, by friends. I asked a friend to trim a piece of hair I couldn't reach on the back of my head. She "textured" it with kitchen shears. It's horrifically uneven. I asked her why she did that and she said because that was better. It's my head, my body- did that matter? No.

I don't have any desire to be vulnerable any more. I don't want to be close to anyone, which goes against every fiber of my insides. I miss Clifton terribly and we had been texting all the time- something I thought meant something but it apparently didn't. A month of daily messages and we haven't seen each other. I'm not good enough.

It tears me up because there are things I use to want and I just can't anymore.

This horrible person at work harasses me about my personal life, laying on pressure about why I should do this or that or return to dating. I find it deeply offensive and violating that he talks about my life like this and yet he continues. I feel like I've lost my voice. I can't speak for myself anymore.