Dragging my feet

to get back on the bandwagon.

I've put on 5-10 pounds in the last few months, which isn't much, but just enough for me to look pregnant naked. Although my cats do not mind, and actually perceive this to be a plus, as there are now more squishy soft parts of me in which to knead their paws, Mommy is not so down with the new "convex" figure.

I was just leaving a comment on one of my new "talking" blogs. (As in, it feels more like a chat about nothing, like a chat with a girlfriend, than about an actual subject, like weddings, which is my whole life and work, so I really like these kinds of blogs and wish I knew of more of them! Here's the link: http://www.nevergrowningold.blogspot.com

Anyway, she posted a bad food list yesterday and it just really bummed me out. I like bad food. Bad food is convenient. Bad food requires little effort. Bad food taste great. Bad food clogs your arteries and kills you at 50. CURSES!

So I want to get back on the diet bandwagon and get as cute and skinny as Kristin, who has way more drive and self control than I do. (Of course, she is still cheating with breast feeding, which is so not fair because I spend at least an hour a day with my cat trying to nurse on my arm and just licking all the skin off instead... I should get extra WW points for that!)

I have been terrible about exercise. I lost all interest in it and have no drive whatsoever. I haven't been since February. And I pay a monthly membership. But I love my gym so I can't quit. It's like going to a spa! But I am seriously lacking in drive.

And food? I know for me food is the key to weight loss. Exercise will tone me up, but has never been an effective tool for me unless I am able to run. And since my knee issues prevent me from running pretty much ever again, the exercise part of the reigm is more for internal health than external beauty. But I know it's necessary. I'm way too sedentary working from home.

But here's my problem with food. I don't want to cook. It makes a mess in my kitchen and after months of cooking every day and the constant mess I am just "done" at the moment. I know I will return to my food network obsession at some point, but right now, laziness is king. I'd rather eat cereal for dinner every night than cook. Dont ask me why because I have no idea.

So there you have it. I dont want to put any effort into my food, but I want to eat to lose weight and be healthy. But I dont wanna do the frozen meals- smart ones and lean cuisine- not only because of the cost, but because of the sodium factor. And I ate those suckers every day for like a year and I'm just not interested.

Ok, so go. Shoot. Solve my problems with brilliant solutions internet.

I need help.

You have no idea how much I need help. Like serious help. Emily has a problem.

I have fallen in love.

With a dog.

THIS dog:

Her name is Lulu. This was taken when she was around 8 weeks old. I think she should be around 12 weeks now. She is a dauchsund mix. She is a triplet and living with her mommy, sister and brother at a rescue in Isleton.

I am dying.

I have wanted a dog my whole life. Since I was 5. Every year, Christmas & birthdays, I have listed #1 on my list, "Basset Hound Puppy." After many years, I had to alter this to a "Real Basset Hound Puppy," after receiving one too many stuffed animals and resin dog shaped music boxes.

I can't really remember why it is I haven't gotten a dog as an adult. I mean, I got my cats, right? What's the big deal about getting a dog? Especially this dog; it will be a small dog.

The only "thing" that has held me back from getting a dog is the fact I don't live in a house. I rent a small condo: 536 square feet. I have always had the mentality stuck in my head that You can't have a dog unless you have a house. That's the rule.

Also, my house is pretty cramped. Me and the two cats don't have a ton of space. Toulouse would love to have a dog. When he was small, my friend would bring her chiahuahua to come over and play with him and they would run back and forth all over the house for hours. We took them on walks around PetSmart together. I fondly remember him leaning and rubbing into her, giving her lovies while we walked around the store. Cutest thing ever.

Amelia was a pound-kitty, and I know from living with my Dad and his dog Clarence- a beagle/jack russel mix that she can tolerate dogs. She mostly ignored him, although I do have some great blackmail-worth photos of her kneading his back on the couch one day. BUSTED! When my friend's dog would come over, she would "supervise" the activity from the safety of the coffeetable, or under the piano bench.

I am a little scared to get a puppy. I always kinda thought I'd start out with an adult dog. They need to be saved from the pound. People don't go for adults. They are frequently better behaved and even trained, which is a huge advantage over a puppy. But I totally fell in love with Lulu. Ahhh, Lulu... <3

Some concerns:

I've never had to potty train an animal before. Cats are born trained. Is it going to destroy my carpets?

What if it chews or is otherwise destructive?

How much more fur can I cram into this house? I'm already a bad housekeeper.

If I adopted Lulu, she would go everywhere with me. I would take her to the kid's games, the parks, when I went to the store, everywhere! Would that be fair to my kitties?

Would my kitties be unhappy with a dog here?

Would it be too crowded?

Ok, the urgency of adopting her is subsding slightly. Help remind of some more reasons why I can't have a dog... Or if you think there is no reason why I can't have a doggie, say that too!!!!

HELP! I need somebody, HELP!

I am trying to find this darn blog that I can't remember the name of!!! lol It's a big blog, a popular blog, lots of readers and followers.

I'm pretty sure it's a food blog, but I could be wrong. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I'm not even really sure what the blog is about- which obviously makes finding it through googling alot harder!

I just have this pictre in my head of this blog that I liked and I can't even remember what it was! Likely either food, or homekeeping. Maybe someone can help! The top of the blog is very colorful, I think it shows a picture of a retro kitchen. The background color is white. There is a woman, the writer of the blog in a svelt, form fitting 50's-60's style dress and high heel pumps. I think she's got her hand over her mouth like "Uh oh!" and one foot popped up in the back. I know this is totally random but anybody recognize this? I want to say it has something like "In a cupcake!" in the name, but when I google that, I'm not finding it... I also had the name Lulu pop into my head too but I can't find anything that way either! And it's been so long since I was on the blog it's not in my history anymore. Anybody?

"Coffee Date" Dress (A Frock by Friday)

Funny considering my last post was about my first date at a coffee place and this project I'm working on is called "Coffee Date!"

This week I am participating in the "Frock by Friday" challenge/group project on my favorite sewing website, Grosgrain! I have never made a dress before, but have really been wanting to for quite a few months now- made a really bad attempt a few months back- it did not go over so well. (That may be what happens when you just make it up as you go along. lol)

This time, I am following along with a new post every day this week with instructions from Grosgrain, and I downloaded the pattern for free as a pdf from Bruda Style. I had to print out the pattern, tape it all together and then cut it out, but it was just fine! I barely screwed that part up at all!

What's great about this, is that Grosgrain is doing this to help us less advanced, or beginner, or first time sewers how to put a dress together. We're all working on the same pattern and can leave comments each day when we get confused or stuck on a step. I feel like it's just as good as a sewing class so far and I am pretty proud of myself!

I have the skirt pieced together, but I just wanted to take a picture of the top so far. What do you think?

The pattern we are working off of was a free download, which was great. Bummer is, it is a pattern designed just by some random person- they made the pattern themself, which is totally awesome, but there were a couple of (easy to fix) mistakes. The problem I am having is that the top is way too small. Now, the lady who writes Grosgrain had the exact same problem and she is teeny-tiny- but she's breastfeeding, and commented that she is bustier than usual. Well, I am bustier than the average gal, and I think that's the problem. Because of my bust, it's making the top really short. So I left a comment on Grosgrain to ask her for advice on what I should do. It barely makes it over my chest. I really don't want it to look like am empire waisted dress when it's supposed to be a traditional a-line dress! LOL

Also, this pattern is sleeveless, but so many people asked to make sleeves that Grosgrain made or tracked down a sleeve pattern for us, but since this is my first dress at all, and I am just barely making it through as-is AND I have huge arms, I figured I would save that challenge for the next dress. Which I already bought the fabric for. lol The next one is red. I'm going to use the same pattern as a base and then modify it, which I think I will be able to do just fine on my own since I've got something to jump off of. For that one I am going to do 3/4 length sleeves, hopefully a boatneck, and hopefully some cute pleating/ruffles on the bottom. We will see how the rest of this goes!

First Anniversary

Well, here we are! We have had a topsy-turvy year and maybe it hasn't been a continuous relationship, but today is the anniversary of Matt & I's first date. (Cue "Awwww"'s)

We started talking/chatting the previous February, but we didn't manage to get together until one year ago today, April 27th. It was a Monday and we planned to meet at Starbucks. He had just gotten back from a guy's trip to Hawaii with a married guy friend from college, but I think his sunburn was just about gone by then.

I remember on the morning-of that I was running around trying to get ready, and after months of just texting, he suddenly starts calling me. Like over and over again! I am trying to get ready boy! He kept teasing me and trying to get me to hurry up because he got to Starbucks HALF AN HOUR early! And ok, Emily runs on "Duggar time" if you know what that means. I think our date was like 11am in the morning too... Imagine Emily being conscious at all at that hour being that I work from home. Right... It could have been UGLY! Lucky for Matty I set the alarm!

I wore green loose fitting linen-type cargo-ish capris on bottom and I can't remember what I wore on top now! :-O I think it was a shirt and sweater. I know I had on flip flops and had recently had a pedicure from when I was visiting Kristin in Utah- Matt specifically commented on my fancy toes, so that was easy to recall!

Matt and I talked on the phone while I drove to West Sac to the Starbucks on Reed Avenue by Ikea. Ironically, this was also the Starbucks in which I shared my last beverage and ate my last dinner with my ex-boyfriend, and where I had studied so many hours and was stalked by that horrid man when I was in law school. At least I managed to pave over this site with some more positive feelings!

He had asked what car I drove, so he was all prepared when I pulled up and got out of his truck and met me on the sidewalk the second I stepped up! He appeared like, out of nowhere I remember. I think he had a red shirt on, I KNOW he had lightwash jeans on, and the HORROR- blindingly white sneakers!!! Yelch! And his jeans were like, somewhat tucked into the tops of his shoes! It was awful! LOL Good thing he's cute! I have no idea why he dressed like that when we first met because I have learned he has great taste. He has like every collared shirt Express ever made and I've only seen him wear this great pair of dark, fashionably loose/comfy jeans since. He sort of looked like his closet threw up on him at this particular moment, but you know... I dated my very unattractive ex for three years, whom I referred to as "the ugly cowboy" for the first six months of our relationship. Emily knows that love is blind. LOL

The first thing I commented on was how skinny he was. He seemed miffed. then he accused me of fancy toes. the battle was ON!

We chatted in line, he got a white chocolate fluffy iced mocha with no whip (he said he couldn't afford the calories, LOL) and I got hot fruity blueberry tea with splenda. You know, that was my beverage of choice in law school because it has no calories and is cheap but still exciting because it is all blueberryish, but I think our first date might have been the last time I ever got it. Hmm! I remember my tea was too hot and I had to take the lid off to let it cool. Matt nervously shook his iced drink after basically every sip, which just made me more and more relaxed and calm because I could see how nervous he was.

At some point I had to use the restroom, and when I think of this, I still totally cringe, because for some reason, I just flat out said, "I need to pee." The second the words came out of my mouth I wanted to die. Why did I have to be so crude!! I was so embarrassed. Why couldn't I just say I needed to use the ladies or use the powder room or something like a real lady would! Ugh, the horror!

We talked for around two hours, mostly about his job and criminal justice type stuff. Finally we left! And that was it!

Except the second I pulled out of the parking lot he called me to tell me I rolled through the stop sign.

I said it then, and I still maintain my original statement: I DID NOT!

lol

Things sure do change quickly around here!

In my last personal post, I told you about how I had been struggling with how I should plan out my future since it looked like Matt would be relocating to Oregon after his stint at FLETC in Georgia. And guess what? He's thinking he might not go now! lol



What will I ever do with this man? lol



He's informed me he just has this strong gut feeling that it's not the right choice. That's all he could give me.



With every decsion he makes... I understand him more and more. I don't know why, but he's just starting to make sense to me! lol



I was and am surprised about this new development, and it hasn't quite sunk in yet. I was quite upset when he told me he was accepting the job with ATF because he would be gone so long, move so far away, and would potentially lose all of his backpay from the CHP. But then, as I always do, I got used to it, accepted it, and embraced it. I even designed my own "I love my Apecial Agent" t-shirt! And I ordered a ATF zip up sweatshirt! Here's a picture:





It says "Alcohol, Tobbacco & Firearms: Who's bringing the food?"

lol Obviously I got it just to be funny.


lol So now, what am I going to do with my new clothes?! lol


I looked up the return policy with Cafe Press and I've got 30 days to return them, so I guess Matt has 30 days to decide whether he is taking this position or not!


He doesn't have any new offers other than what I've already mentioned, but that doesn't mean he won't get more. It's totally possible he could get offered a job with ATF much closer to home- like in San Francscio, which would be great- way closer to home, to his parents, to me. I don't know if that's what he is thinking in the back of his head or not, but it's a possibility.

I was driving around a couple of days ago and I was overcome with this flood of memories of when I used to drive out to Fairfield to meet Matt for lunch in our early days of dating. I think one week I drove out there 4 days in a row. Each day I went out he would fuss over me for driving so far and get a puppy-dog look on his face and say how wonderful I was for doing that. Then he'd say how worried he was about me driving out there, the gas, the miles on my car... lol He always paid for my lunch and gave me some hugs and kisses so it felt like a fair trade to me! He still has never once let me pay for anything. Never! Even when he came last week to visit and we walked around the corner to get something to drink he wouldn't let me pay, and wouldn't even let me bring my purse so I "couldn't try anything." lol The gentlemen in him is cute.

Anyway, thinking about those days, last spring.., he was so, so happy doing his job. He never had any discontent or worry when he worked out of the Fairfield office. He saw his folks every other weekend, he got lots of daytime shifts... He was happy there. Meeting him at work, (checking him out in his super cute uniform!) sharing a meal and chatting was so fun. I loved that. Our second date, we met at Kinder's (a BBQ place near his office) for lunch and we shared a hug for the first time! I miss that. I gave him some Kinder's BBQ sauce for Christmas (they sell it, it's so good!) but it's just not the same. The pace of his life here was just completely different.


It makes me sad.

There is still a possibility he can go back to the CHP. He hasn't heard from them yet. He had expressed to me quite bitterly that he didn't want to. But he loved his job and if he went back his life wouldn't have to undergo any of these massive changes. It's the simplest solution. I wonder if he is hoping again that that door isn't quite shut yet...

The one year anniversary of our first official date is on Tuesday, April 27th! :)