Dear Abby & Traveling

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I recently returned from a vacation where we had a disagreement regarding hotel service and towels.
Regarding the towels, my wife thinks we should hang them to dry daily for reuse later. I say the cost of washing the towels is included in the price of the room, and I want a fresh towel daily.


The other issue is my wife feels obligated to tip the housekeeping staff. I have never felt that obligation. Not a single housekeeper has been exceptional, regardless of the hotel we stayed in.


We're hoping you could shed some light on hotel etiquette. -- WEST VIRGINIA TRAVELER


DEAR TRAVELER: Your wife appears to be a conservationist. Although you prefer fresh towels daily, many travelers voluntarily forgo this service to help hotels conserve water and save energy. If you prefer to do otherwise, that's your privilege -- and it's not worth arguing over.


As to tipping the housekeeping staff, has it occurred to you that you have never received exceptional service because you never offered a tip? Some hotel guests talk to the housekeeper at the time they arrive to request extra hangers, soap, washcloths, etc. -- and offer a gratuity at that time. And when they do, the staff usually goes out of their way to be accommodating. Try it -- they need the extra money, and they'll spoil you if you let them.
 
 
I read Dear Abby every day online and have for years. Before that I read it in the paper.

I was just posting these on Facebook, but I found I has some more things I wanted to say uncensored that I couldn't really say on FB because of who would be reading it so I decided to post it on here too.

In this scenario, I was raised like the wife for sure. You don't waste water, and if you're wrapping a clean towel around your clean body there is no reason for them to have to change the towels. Throwing the towels on the floor totally bugs me. I think it's wasteful. We do the same thing at home- after you shower or take a bath, you hang your towels up, you don't throw them on the dirty floor. It creates more work all around when you do that.

I have stayed in lots of hotels with other people who always do what the husband does here and I have to fight the urge to pick up the towels and hang them up! I actually stayed in one hotel with a gal who threw clean towels on the floor each day so they could be washed again. I have no idea why. But it made me want to scream. I couldn't stand it. I had to keep reminding myself that we are all different and we  can each make our own choices and live our lives the way we each choose and that is okay. I don't have to control everything. That's not my job, and I should be able to have the self-control to tolerate someone throwing towels on the floor for a few days like a big girl. But it seriously challenged me and I don't think I did so hot. I really tried though.


*UPDATED TO ADD* Dear Abby just posted a follow up to the above letters! Read on...

DEAR ABBY: I was shocked and angered by the letter from "West Virginia Traveler" (April 16) on towel usage and tipping hotel housekeepers. His priorities and "knowledge" of hotel staff are seriously skewed. This man is taking his peevishness out on hotel employees who can least afford to take it.




The concierge is paid well to deal with disgruntled guests and make things right. The bellman gets tipped to carry a bag from the lobby to your room. If a doorman calls a cab for you, he gets tipped. If there is a restaurant, the servers are tipped.

 The one person who is most critical to making your stay comfortable and pleasant is the maid/housekeeper. She is the one who makes sure you have a clean bathroom, fresh sheets and plenty of toilet paper. She does the grungiest job in the hotel, gets paid very little, is rarely thanked in person and is the last to be tipped. She needs these tips more than anyone else.



I make a point of tipping every single day of my stay, and I have always received the best room service imaginable. -- LUANN IN KEENE, N.H.



DEAR LUANN: Thank you for your letter. Housekeepers everywhere will be grateful for your support. Read on:






DEAR ABBY: I am a housekeeper in a popular hotel chain. Our staff leaves cards in the bathrooms asking our guests to please conserve and hang towels for reuse if possible. Just because you can be wasteful, it doesn't mean you should. -- JENNIFER IN CANADA






DEAR ABBY: "Traveler" said not a single housekeeper has been "exceptional." What about the simple fact that housekeepers clean up his mess during his stay? They take out his trash, refresh his towels and replace used soaps and shampoos. Housekeepers vacuum anything tracked in, remake beds, wipe down the sink and bath/showers.






I can say from personal experience that many hotel guests wouldn't leave their homes in the condition they leave their hotel rooms, and sadly, they feel that it's acceptable. Housekeepers work hard to provide a clean and comfortable room prior to a guest's arrival, and strive to maintain that comfort throughout the guest's stay. In addition, they will fulfill any request within their abilities. I'd say this alone is pretty darn "exceptional." -- GUEST SERVICE REP IN UTAH






DEAR ABBY: Leaving a tip for housekeeping in a hotel is a matter of social responsibility/social justice. A striking majority of hotel maids are women -- many of color, invariably in a lower income bracket and, often, single mothers. They work extraordinarily hard for less than minimum wage in cities where the cost of living is much higher than their incomes. In other words, they are not paid a living wage. Consider it a "mitzvah" (a blessing) to leave a tip. It can make a difference between a family "getting by" and one that is drowning. This is about doing the right thing. -- AN M.D. IN MONTE SERENO, CALIF.




I remember my sister in law told me when she was young they only used the towels in their house once and then washed them, and that she learned about hanging up towels and reusing them at our house. (She dated my brother from HS on.)

No judgement today though... Do you hang your towels up at home? Do you hang up them in hotels?