Law school

Apparently my law school class at Lincoln is graduating next month. Someone I'm still friends with posted something about it online. I guess it just slipped my mind. I can't believe it's been that long since I've been in school now. It upset me in a jealous/disappointed in myself/feel like a failure type of way. It's something I haven't thought much about since everything that happened with Matt but I guess it... kind of hurt my feelings? To hear about it. I should have known it was coming because my class at my FIRST law school (yeah, I went to two) graduated last spring, and a friend who started the semester after me graduated at Christmas, so it's been each semester, bam bam bam... You should have graduated, look she graduated, oh wait, you could have graduated here now too.

None of these people have gone through the things I have gone through but it still makes me feel bad.

I don't know what I want any more either.

One thought that has occured to me the last couple of months is that I GUESS that it really is okay to have multiple careers in your life. (Why that didn't occur to me earlier, or why that wasn't okay with me before, I don't know. I have no explaination for my apparent [unknown to me] bias). I could be a photographer for now, maybe stay home for awhile (I'm trying to come around to the M...O... M... thing) and then go back to school and do something else. I could go to school and be a lawyer or something else when I'm in my 40's or 50's or whenever.  I could do anything I wanted to. At least, I am trying to focus on that.

I am still, though feeling bad about the high hopes I had coming out of college and my foiled plans. And a little bitter about the people who were able to go straight through and make it happen for them. Why did it work out for them, and not me? Why am I here, and they there?