That Name Tag

If you don't know the story of what's going on, you can click HERE for the synopsis, or go to the "Notable Posts" on the right hand column and start at the top to get a gist for what's going on. There's also a summary in my "About Me" and on the topper to this blog.

Part of this interview, and part of my complaint to the CHP about Matt is that he wore a name tag on his CHP (California Highway Patrol) uniform that had the name he was using at the time- Timmons. This turned out to not be his real name as I horriffically found out after 18 months of being together. He had stolen, borrowed or swapped out that name tag with another officer who really does have the last name Timmons.

During the interview, the female sergeant asked me to describe the name tag in as much detail as possible. She told me that in their department, the name tags have decorations on them depending on how long they have been in service, their safety record, etc. All I can really remember about the tag is that it was gold or silver- shiny (I lean more towards gold, but it was dark, so I don't want to say anything for sure, but I thought it was gold.) Anyway, it was shiny, had black or dark lettering and was about the side of an address label- the long skinny kind. (I showed them with my hands the size.)  I remember it being plain.

After the interview, my mind started rolling on this. If they get special new name tags that correspond with their achievements, I bet they don't confiscate or turn in their old name tags, right? I wonder if Matt has an old name tag of Timmon's that he just has, that he was given or borrowed or kept and he just uses or used as his. He didn't have to take the current name tag off Timmon's uniform if that's the case. He could have just used an old one. Anything that had a name on it would have been sufficient. That would have made this alot easier, simpler... logical, don't you think?

And dirty.

I didn't really process these thoughts until afterwards so I didn't mention it in the meeting. So I wonder if the investigators had the same thoughts I did. I hope so.

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So, I don't know if I should have or not, I'm kind of wishing I didn't, but I googled the CHP name tags and the first few that came up didn't look how I remembered. But then I saw a few that did, so I felt better. I also saw the decoration the lady was talking about, I don't remember that  part of it.

This part upsets me. In the pictures I looked at, the people are all wearing the name tag on their right side. I remember Matt wearing it on the left. Now I feel worried. What if my memory is wrong, or if I"m not remembering it right? Maybe I have it all wrong. I shouldn't have looked at the pictures. I don't want to taint my memory. But that's what I remember. I remember it being on the right hand side when I looked at him, which would be his left side, and his radio being on that side too. I remember looking at that same side of his shirt when we were in Baja Fresh a few weeks later and noticing there wasn't a name tag and noticing there weren't any pin holes in his shirt from the tag either. (Which made me think at the time that maybe he didn't need to wear it or something, if he didn't have pin holes).  After the interview I wondered if maybe it had a magnet back and that's why I didn't see pinholes. But maybe I was looking at the wrong side. But I looked at his uniform all over and I do not remember him wearing a name tag that day! I don't! There wasn't one there! And in that first meeting in Kinder's the BBQ place, when I saw the name Timmon's on his shirt, I remember it being on his left side. But what if I am wrong? Now I feel so worried and anxious. Now maybe they won't believe me because I got this wrong, but that's still what I remember. When I look at these pictures of the uniforms it doesn't look right. The tag goes on the other side, his left.

I shouldn't have looked it up. Why did I do that? :(