and then my pet fish died.

I got home from work awhile ago and the fish tank filter was pretty noisy because the water was low from the cats drinking all the water out of it, so I finally gave in and topped off the tank and I noticed something float up off the bottom so I turned on the light.

And there was my red baby betta Marlin. My one and only fish, my cat's pet, whom Matt and I picked out together with Tootie at PetSmart last August. We each picked out a fish and let Toulouse pick which one he wanted to bring home. This was right after our blue betta Dory died of old age... he was over 3.5 years old, maybe even 4. Lived a happy bachelor life in a big 10 gallon tank with some Finding Nemo plastic guys from the Disney store.

Marlin was all bloated and had a big bubble, an actual bubble, just attached to his side. I buried him in the same pot where Dory is buried on my front porch, with a flowering potato bush under a little frog with a silver ball sculpture.

And I am crying like a big, big baby. Because I needed just one more freaking thing to send me over the edge. Like I wasn't already over the cliff already. And now my fish is dead. And it wasn't just any fish, it was a fish we picked out together. Matt even held Tootie on the leash and managed to not look totally embarrassed to be walking a cat around in public.

Amelia is sitting next to the tank and watching it. She doesn't seem to have realized Marlin is gone yet. She must think he is hiding really good today.

:( :( :(

I want my fish. I want my boyfriend. I just want my life back. I hate my life right now. :(
Please don't let it get any worse. Please.